This song is one in a series of letters i wrote between a girl named Emilie, and a man named Michael. Although the song is not from my personal point of view, it is a projection of the feelings of being a failure that i harbored through out last year as I went through hard times.
Phototropism :The orientation of a plant or other organism in response to light, either toward the source of light (positive phototropism) or away...
lyrics
Dear Emilie,
Admittedly I aint been the best boyfriend lately
im kinda shaky n
these drugs they kinda make me
a little flakey
so just walk away and make me
a better man, cause with these drugs i understand
i dont really wanna lose my friends to this
but im just helpless to mental bliss
i dont even really want help with this
but i admit im kinda helpless so please God help us
im sorry if i missed your birthday last night,
i had a date with my crack pipe
i dont mean to be a shitty person on purpose
but when you have no purpose you feel really worthless
so i skipped my sons basketball game
n i bet hes glad i never came
n just the same
you bet that i still miss him
wish i could come over and spend some time with him
just to feel with him
but i think he'd hate it
his father was belated
you dont even have to say it
cause i hear it ever day, so like i said just walk away
n i hope to see the day
when my luck will maybe change
cause im a person just the same
and my dream is not to stay
under signs and walk ways
askin people for change,
feel like i bother them everyday.
Ima try'n get some help with this, just wait
but maybe im a crooked tree just tryin to grow straight.
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I'm sorry for me
I've got a lot on my plate
Maybe I'm a crooked tree just tryina grow straight
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Didn't learn my lesson the last few times
so i gotta find my black light
smoke out of my hash pipe
forget the mess from last night
where did I put that flashlight
confused all of the damn time,
I think i lost my damn mind
and its about time too
cause after you left, everything followed suite.
and Im not even blaming you,
but when i wave in the street i wish you would wave too.
n lately i really try and make it to the meetings
but i get cold feet n end em before they begin
i got a problem, im the first to admit it
i burned my whole life and our relationship within it
cant even go to school just to see my son,
cause when I do they just call 911
I've never been so embarrassed
as my son looks up with fear n
doesn't know his own parent
my heart can hardly bear it
I hope you try and understand
the tears of this broken man
so say hello to my son Ben
n when I shave I still look just like him.
I hope you had a really good birthday,
hope you know i miss you in the worst way
Not to sound like a psycho,
but i love you, and im sorry.
Sincerely,
Michael
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I'm sorry for me
I've got a lot on my plate
Maybe I'm a crooked tree just tryina grow straight
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credits
from Rebirth,
released November 7, 2013
Jesse Northey - Back up vocals
